Little Red Kagome

[browneyedmami.livejournal.com]

Title: Little Red Kagome

Author: browneyedmami

Fandom: Inuyasha

Genre: Comedy

Characters/Pairings: Inuyasha/Kagome, Miroku/Sango, Shippo

Summary: Kagome takes her friends from the feudal era to the present to watch a new anime. But the anime was certaintly not what she expected...

Notes: Bolded is the original story. It is not mine by any shape or form. Written for iy_mst 's 1st prompt. Won 2nd place!

“Hey guys! My mom bought me this new anime DVD for my, so I thought it would be cool if we could all go back to my era and watch it. How does that sound?”

“Feh, whatever, as long as I get some ramen.” Inuyasha said

“I always love visiting your world Kagome!” Shippo said

“Sure Kagome, that sounds great!” Sango said

“Are there beautiful women in it?” Miroku asked

Before she could reply to the comment, she heard:

*WHAM* and Sango’s Hiratkso hits Miroku in the head.

“But I love you Sango! Would you like to bear my…”

*WHAM* It hits him again.

Choosing not to argue, Miroku said “Yes, Sango darling.”

“Alright then, we’ll go tomorrow morning!”
-----------------------------------------------
The next morning, everyone had breakfast and began the walk to the well. Once on the other said, Kagome noticed no one was at home and there was a note on the table.

“Figured you guys could use some time to relax alone. Sota is with a friend, and your grandfather and I are visiting your aunt. Have fun watching the anime! I’ll be back in 3 days.
-Mom ”

“Looks like we’re alone today guys! I’ll start making some ramen. You guys go ahead and have a sit down ok?”

*WHAM* Inuyasha was sent to the floor.

“OH! Inuyasha I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say sit!”

*WHAM* Inuyasha falls to the ground again

“OH MY!!!! I’m so sorry!! Forgive me! Extra ramen?”

“Keh, better be wench.”

“Alright.”

Kagome made the ramen and everyone had a seat on the couch. After a few minutes Kagome came out with the ramen, and handed everyone a bowl.

“Ok, I’m putting in the DVD now, so everyone shh!”

Everyone is quiet.

The DVD starts.

Once upon a time, in a time apart from ours, a little girl lived with her mother and father in a small farming village. Her father was a former monk and her mother a former demon exterminator. But now they were rice farmers, having settled down with their lovely daughter Kagome.

Kagome: What the hell?!? I don’t know what’s going on here guys, but this is weird…

However, they were unable to convince the mother of the demon exterminator to leave her hut in the woods and live with the farming village. So, the demon exterminator, Sango, would send Kagome out every week to check on Kagome’s dear grandmother, to see if anything was wrong, or needed fixing, and to take some food out to her as well.

Miroku: Me and Sango married? YES!

Sango: Remember, this is an anime, not real life, lecher

Miroku: *sigh*

Whenever Kagome went out on this journey, she would wear a red coat that was very special. It was made of fur from fire rats and was fireproof, waterproof and knife-proof.

Inuyasha: what the fuck? That sounds like MY fire rat! What kind of story is this! They need to get the facts straight!

Kagome: INUYASHA! Language! And like you just said, it’s a story, so be quiet!

Inuyasha: Keh!

So as she passed the other villagers on her way through the woods, they would call to her and say “There goes Little Red Kagome with a basket of goodies for her grandmother.”

Shippo: Hey, that kinda sounds like the story you told me once Kagome. Little Red Riding Hood!

Kagome: You’re right Shippo! jeez, I can’t imagine how this story is going to turn out! This is so odd!

Now there was a friendly (if not hotheaded and short-tempered) woodcutter’s son who would play with Kagome as they were growing up. At age thirteen he became a woodcutter himself. When Kagome would go into the woods, he would go too, to watch over her while all the while pretending he wasn’t. He was an excellent tree-climber and he could follow her from the trees and make sure she got to her grandmother’s and back safely. When this story begins, both are fifteen.

This boy’s name was Inuyasha, because he was a hanyou of dog demon and human.

Inuyasha: I’ll show them who’s hot-headed and short-tempered! Stupid mov-eee! *grabs Tessaiga*

Kagome: SIT!

Now the time came when Kagome had to go see her grandmother again, but she forgot to mention to Inuyasha that she was going, so he overslept and she ended up going alone. Of course, most of this time she thought she’d been alone all along, but this was the first time when she was ACTUALLY alone.

And the wolf demon of the forest knew this too.

The wolf demon’s name was Kouga, which means “steel fang”. He was very fast and very cunning. He was also rather handsome.

Inuyasha: Who wrote this crap?! NONE of that is true!

He didn’t like Inuyasha’s family because he was prejudiced against dog demons, and secretly was afraid of them. He didn’t want anyone to find out that he was afraid, so he liked to harass the family at a distance with tricks, but this day he didn’t smell the woodcutting family, so he thought it safe to hunt in the forest openly.

Inuyasha: Yeah, stupid dumbass! Secretly afraid of me…I’m kinda liking that idea

Kagome: INUYASHA!!!! Where did you hear that word?

Inuyasha: Um…you?

Kagome: *blushing* Ugh, whatever, just be quiet!

And besides, there was the scent of little girl in the air that he just couldn’t resist.
When the Kouga-wolf saw her, he decided that she was very beautiful and instead of eating her right away, went up to talk with her.

“Hey”

Little Red Kagome whirled around, startled.

Inuyasha: Who does the think he is?!

“Who’s there?”

There was a chuckle from the bushes. Kouga stepped out onto the path.

“Hello Little Red.” He smiled. “Where ya going with all that food?”

Kagome checked him over. He was wearing fur pelts and armor. His shiny black hair was in a topknot and his unruly bangs spilled over a headband made of fur. Kagome couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something wrong with his appearance. Then she realized it. His turquoise eyes didn’t have pupils! How odd!

She answered hesitantly.

“I’m taking these groceries to my Granny in the hut in the middle of the woods.” Kouga smiled.

“That’s so nice of you. Pretty and thoughtful, what a girl.” He said flatteringly.
Kagome smiled.

“He may be a little odd looking, but he sure is nice.” She thought.

Inuyasha: *fuming* NICE?!? How could you think such a thing?!?

Kagome: Inuyasha, it’s a STORY jeez! How many times do I have to remind you!

“Why don’t you let me carry that heavy basket for you? Sweet thing like you should have to do heavy lifting like that.” He offered, smiling.

Kagome looked worried.

“I better not, I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”

While all this was going on, the woodcutter boy, Inuyasha, had woken up and gone off to Kagome’s house. He didn’t realize he had overslept.

He knocked on the door. “Where is Kagome?” he asked Miroku, her father.

“She left already to take some supplies to her grandmother. If you hurry you can catch up to her.” Miroku said.

Miroku: Gee, I even sound fatherly. Sango, would you…

Sango: NO! and that’s a Tee Vee ack-tor! Not you!

Kagome: *giggling* Miroku probably would make a great father.

Inuyasha walked away calmly until he was out of Miroku’s sight. Then he raced foreword into the woods. He smelled wolf in the air and was worried.

Inuyasha: Worried my a..

Kagome gives Inuyasha a glare

Inuyasha glares back but decides to remain quiet.

Meanwhile, back in the woods….

“Well, here, I’m Kouga. And you are….?”

“Kagome” she answered automatically.

“See? Now we’re not strangers.”

Kagome saw the logic in this.

Inuyasha: Idiot!

Kagome: UGH! SIT BOY! And SHUT UP!

Kouga continued, “Now, which way?” Kagome pointed. Kouga smiled to himself. “I can just taste her now. I’ll eat the Granny as hors’ devours and Little Miss Red here as the tender main course. Now, I just gotta distract her….”

Suddenly Kouga’s distraction came, but not like he expected. “Shit.” He thought. “I smell that damn dog. I’ll tell Red here that I smell some wild demon and I’ll go and drive him away from her.”

“Oi! Kagome!” he yelled, starting to run. “I smell some bad demon in the forest, I’ll go chase him off and meet you at the hut ok?”

“What!?” yelled Kagome back. “Wait! My basket! Arrrrrgggg! I shoulda known!” she slumped to the ground.

“Well, “ she said, eyeing some herbs and mushrooms near a peach tree burdened with fruit, “Maybe I could do something else instead…”

Meanwhile…

“I could smell your stink a mile away dog-turd.” Kouga taunted
“What are you doing in MY forest.” Inuyasha bristled.

Inuyasha: Thats right! Its MY forest!

Eveyone rolls their eyes.

“None of your business.”

Inuyasha noticed the basket. “Where do you think you’re going with that basket of food?”

Kouga smirked. “I’m going and visiting my poor ol’ Granny in the woods” he said with a fake high trill. Then he sped away laughing, leaving Inuyasha in his dust.

Inuyasha: EXCUSE ME?!!? Kouga ain’t fast enough to outrun ME!

Kagome: Of course no one could outrun my big strong hanyou

Inuyasha: Your?

Kagome: *blushing* Just watch the show!

As Kouga ran, he started to notice the aroma of the contents of the basket. His curiosity got the better of him and stopped to rummage. He pulled out all sorts of things he’d never seen before: long noodles in chicken broth, a sweet smelling block of dark material that he decided immediately that he had to sample…and a tube full of hot water. When Kouga popped the lid off the canister of water, he slopped a lot of the water into the open packages of noodle. He sniffed at it. Then tasted the new combination. The before he knew it, he had finished off the first cup of noodles and poured more water into the second.

Inuyasha: Why does he get ramen?

He caught himself as the sun had started to set.

“Crap.” He said. “I need to get on with my plan!”

He ran at full speed to grandmother’s house, busting the door open. He was about to eat her when he smelled Kagome coming, not too far away from the hut. Cursing, he knocked the old woman out and threw her in the closet, grabbing some of grandmother’s clothes while he was in there.

He quickly put them on and lay in bed, pretending to be Granny.

“Young meat is better the less it struggles as it dies.” Kouga thought to himself, mentally licking his chops. “It has less chance getting bruised or dirty. That’s why every wolf knows trickery is the best policy when catching young prey."

Sango: He sure is full of himself

Shippo: Yeah, but Inuyasha is worse

*BOINK* Inuyasha hits Shippo on the head

Shippo: Ow, INUYASHA!

Kagome: Inuyasha…….

Inuyasha: …………

Kagome: ……

Inyasha: No “sit?”

Kagome: no sit

*WHAM*

Inuyasha: *mumbles* wench!

Kagome poked her head in the door. “Granny?” she ventured. She came the rest of way into the hut, setting down the food she had gathered on the way.

“I’m in here dear.” Kouga said in the highest pitch voice he could manage.

“Granny? Why is your voice so rough?” Kagome asked.

Inuyasha: stupid as ever….

“I’ve got a bit of a cold today, so I’m staying in bed if you don’t mind dear.” He faked a few coughs.

She came a little closer. Kouga’s head peeked out from the blankets, covered mostly by one of Granny’s caps.

“What’s with the hat Granny?” she asked.

“Err, like I said, I have a cold today and this hat keeps my head warm.”

Kagome: what the hell! I SO would have noticed that wasn’t my grandmother

Inuyasha: Keh, I doubt it

“Um…all the better to see you with my dear. Now come closer, I can barely hear you.”
She came closer. Kouga smiled.

“Your teeth look bigger as well, did you get a new set of false teeth?”

“They’re all the better to eat you with, my dear!”

And Kouga hopped out of the bed, tearing the grandmotherly clothes off of him. Suddenly, then door blew off its hinges, and the Inu-woodcutter stormed in, whirling his mighty ax through the air.

Inuyasha: Now that sounds great!

The wolf snarled and the two started a viscous battle right there in the hut. Inuyasha swung and swung and swung, Kouga dodging each attack by an inch.

Inuyasha: Please, he’d be on the ground with the first hit

Miroku: Have you forgotten your previous spars

Kagome and Sango giggle and Kagome says : couldn’t have said it better myself Miroku!

Inuyasha: KEH!

Kagome had crawled into a corner, out of the way of the two canines. Finally, Inuyasha swung the ax at Kouga while he was on the bed. Kouga’s clawed feet snagged on the blankets and Inuyasha chopped the wolf’s tail in two. Snarling, Kouga ran out the door, kicking up dust clouds in his retreat.

Inuyasha: Now that’s more like it!

Inuyasha went over to Kagome.

“You all right?” he said, helping her to her feet.

“Granny!” she remembered. “What happened to her?”

“That’s Kagome for you.” Inuyasha thought to himself. “Worrying about others first.”

Sango: yeah, Kagome is always so kind

Miroku: Indeed

Inuyasha: *grumpily* yeah, I guess….

Suddenly, they heard a moan from the closet. Kagome and Inuyasha went into the closet where they found grandmother unconscious on the floor. They dusted her off and laid her in bed and closed the door. They sat on the porch to wait for Granny to wake up.

“Maybe now Granny will be convinced to come and live in the village.” Kagome observed.

“Well, it doesn’t matter.” Inuyasha smirked. “That wolf won’t be coming back here for a long time.”

Kagome leaned against Inuyasha, placing her head on his shoulder. “Thank you Inuyasha.”
Inuyasha blushed, but wrapped an arm around her back. “feh. You could have avoided this whole mess if you’d have just waited for me to go to the forest with you.”

Inuyasha: *blushing at the activity on the screen* Yeah, you idiot. Should’ve asked me to come with you!

Kagome is blushing too now

Everyone else is hiding smiles

“Huh? You don’t usually go with me…wait! You follow me into the woods!?”

“Hey! If I didn’t, you’d be missing a couple hunks of flesh right now!”

“Still, anyone else and that would be creepy. You stalk me!”

Miroku: Now this seems normal…

“Nooooo, I just watch out for you, there’s a difference dumbass!”

“Dumbass! You…watch out for me?” she said, changing her tone mid yell.

“Well I …sorta.” Inuyasha admitted.

“Awww” Kagome said, and kissed him on the cheek.

The DVD ends and credits start rolling.

Kagome and Inuyasha exchange a quick glance then look away from each other blushing.

Inuyasha: I do look after you, you know…when you go places alone…..

Kagome: you…do?

Inuyasha: yeah…

Kagome: *kisses him on the cheek* thank you.

Inuyasha: *blushing turning shades brighter than his fire-rat* Anything for you Kagome