Such Is Destiny

[browneyedmami.livejournal.com]

Title: Such is Destiny
Author: browneyedmami
Fandom:
Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance
Characters/Pairings: Inuyasha/Kagome
Summary: Kagome realizes there are some things she cannot help
Notes: 1st part is Kagome's POV, second is Inuyasha's. Written for firsttweak 's 'Hope' prompt and won 3rd place!





Every day I help tend to the sick and dying, so one would think after so long, you get used to seeing gruesome things. I’ve seen a fair share of people with horrible ailments, and I always feel awful when I can’t help. Such was the case today.

A man came in gasping for air. It was obvious he had just been in battle. I started to tend to him immediately, making sure I had all the proper herbs, and instruments necessary. He was badly beaten, and severely wounded in vital areas. I did all I could to clean his wounds and stop the blood flow, but it just keep pooling into my hands. Blood doesn’t usually bother me, but this sight nearly made me faint. My entrie miko’s robe was covered in blood, and he was thrashing about wincing and screaming in pain. I had to maintain my resolve. I tried harder to stop the bloodflow, even stripping off the top of my miko robes and using it to tie around the wounds to put pressure, but to no avail. No matter how many bandages or other articles I used, I couldn’t stop it. I wanted to scream, and curse the gods.

The man gave me a look, and I knew the look to well. He knew he was going to die. He looked me straight in the eye and said “Miko, god bless you. Please let my wife know that I love her, and that I hope our child will grow up to be as beautiful as she”

With that statement, he slipped quietly into death, a tear sliding down, but a smile on his face. Upon seeing his lifeless form, I let out a blood curdling scream. I lost it. I failed! I failed to save a man with a wife that was with child! How could I? Why was I so inadequate? I screamed, my throat becoming hoarse, when Sango emerged in the tiny hut with one of her twins in her arms. She quickly assessed the situation, then came back childless, and carried my shaking form to mine and Inuyasha’s hut.

When I arrived, Inuyasha was not home. Sango offered to stay and said the children were safe with Miroku, but I told her I needed some time alone. I didn’t even bother to bathe. I just sat in my bra and the pants of my miko robes, the blood having dried up. I sat in a ball in the corner and wept.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I could smell blood and tears mixed with my wife’s scent from the distance. Instantly worried, I pushed myself faster to make it to her.

All too soon, I found her balled up in the corner of our hut, wearing only that undergarment she calls a bra, and the bottom of her miko’s robes. I was pissed upon seeing she did not have her top on, and I was ready to pounce, kill someone for hurting her, but then I realized something important. The blood was not hers, but the blood of a man. A villager she had been tending to probably. I walked to her, carefully preparing what to say to her in my mind.
Instead of asking her what happened, I just gingerly picked her up and said

“Let’s get you cleaned up” to which she simply nodded in response, still crying silently.

I took her to the nearest spring, and carefully cleaned the blood off of her. Some of it had dried, so it was hard to get off. She barely moved at all, and I had to move her arms and legs to get to certain areas where the blood was more prominent. She was like a zombie.
Once I had her cleaned off, I took off my haori(sp?), and pulled it over her tiny form, then gathered her in my arms bridal style to take her back to the hut. I walked instead of ran, but still with reasonable pacing.

We arrived at the hut I set her on our bed and decided that I’d wait until she was ready to talk instead of bombarding her with questions. I was just about to tell her that, when she spoke.

“He died because of me. He died leaving behind a wife and an unborn child, all because of me! Because I couldn’t stop the blood from flowing from his wounds! Because I’m an idiot! Because I should’ve paid more attention in school!! That man died because of ME Inuyasha! Because of ME!!”

She finished her speech and sobbed uncontrollably. I went to comfort her, but she pushed me away.
“NO! I’m a failure! I fucked up! I let a man die! I understand if you can’t look at me anymore. You don’t have to force yourself to be here.”

I simply inched closer to her, then reached out to touch a strand of her hair. She tried to push me away again, but this time I didn’t allow it.

“Shhh…it’s ok” I said softly.

She just whimpered, so I continued.

“Death is something unfortunate and can’t be helped. Sometimes death will come upon the most unsuspecting of people and at the worst times, but that doesn’t mean you should stop living. I know this was hard on you, but you can’t save everybody”

She looked up at me, tears still falling from her beautiful face.

“I suppose my destiny just hit me in the face today. It’s the first time I wasn’t able to help save someone, and it hurt. I’m so glad I have friends like Sango and Miroku, and a wonderful husband like you” she said, now sobbing into my shoulder.

I kissed her on the forehead and said “The paths of our destinies are not always easy, but you’ll always have me Kagome.”

She lifted her head from my shoulder and smiled at me, then said

“Thank you Inuyasha” with a soft kiss to follow.

I then laid down with her, and within moments, she was asleep.

I have to say, It was hard for me to say the right things to her tonight, but I think I did ok. I smile down at her sleeping form, and crack a toothy grin thinking how lucky I am to have this woman in my life.

Our destinies may not have been fated to happen, but the fact that she is in my arms is enough. May our paths continue to run smooth, and may we be able to face all the trials we may have.

Speaking of trials…after that trip to the spring, I need to take care of one of my own....